Thursday 21 January 2010

All about Joe.

Instead of the regular 'Bangers and Mash' we have a special post today, read below to find out...

Basically Joe is my new flatmate, and behind his image of an angry grumpy man lies a very VERY strange person. So after Mellon day I bring you the the strange world of Joe Hodgkiss.

While wandering the flat thinking about fanny Joe sometimes likes to work out, instead of using weights like a normal man Joe likes to use people of colour. As his usual partner of Will Smith wasn't about he decided to use my arm to do his chin ups.



As he's all about the fanny he demanded an arm wrestle to decide whether he should be allowed to make a move on Nicola.



Joe won like Rocky in Rocky, Rocky 2,3,4 and 5, and obviously impressed with his shear magnificence Nicola accepted his advances.



After having his way with my girlfriend Joe decided to pose for the new apple Ipod adverts, critic's have called it "inspirational".



What followed was a series of high level phone calls, which resulted in Joe being recruited as a Tory marketing campaigner.



After a few hours of hard work, Joe had produced an advert which Tory leaders have claimed is "almost as groundbreaking as the 'On the Buses'".





What does the future hold for Joe, who knows, but you better believe that he's in it for the fanny, BELIEVE.

Come back soon for a regular post of 'Bangers and Mash'!

Thursday 7 January 2010

Mellon day.

Right so before Mellon goes back to London Ive decided to dedicate a post and day to him rather than a regular 'Bangers' and 'Mash' update.
This post documents an estimated 24 hours in the life of Mellon and me.

We started our adventure after having a lovely meal provided by Mellon's mum and dad, unfortunatly I didn't have a camera to blog the meal, but let me tell you it was lovely! Anyway we ventured into town to try and find somewhere to skate untouched by snow or water.
Mellon said he knew a undercover ledge next to Burger King so we decided to go check it out. We found a nice little ledge but a tramp was asleep next to it and we didn't want to wake him up so we decided to make a move.



So we decided to hit up the classic spot of smooth tunnel, after an epic game of S.K.A.T.E security came and spoiled our fun and kicked us out. We offered them some saucy delights if they let us stay but they said they didn't like diabetic's or asian's with bags (They were cool with a whitey having a bag or just an asian just not both combined).



We decided to go back to the flat to have a cuddle and kill some zombies on 'Left 4 dead'. After ruling the game with iron fists Mellon went home on the promise to return the following day for American Diner fun (In reality we went the day after that, but that would ruin the 24 hour theme, so go with it).

And so to the next part of Mellon day... Food times! We rounded up a crew consisting of Mellon, Nicola, Tom, Hopper and me and made our way to the Diner.

Tom had already eaten so he went for a casual Hot chocolate and some pancakes.



Mellon being the world's worst diabetic got pancakes for a starter, a cheese hound (hotdog) for a main and then a banana split sundae for pudding! How this man still his limbs is beyond me! Anyway only managed to snap the starter and the pudding so take a gander!





Nicola went for a chicken burger and then shared a tall stack (4) of pancakes/maple syrup and banana with me. I fucked the photo of the burger up but take a look at the pancakes. Ive got to say they were delicious!



I opted for a pancakes starter and then a hen breakfast, which had sausages, an egg, fried toast, beans and bacon, not gonna lie but it wasn't up to the usual standard of American diner though it was still tasty.



After the fun and frolics of the Diner we decided to rearrange my sitting room, as I thought it was time for a change.



Mellon brim full of ideas created DVD corner, here he is trying to decide whether to watch '5 on 1' or '7 the hard way'.



So at the end of Mellon day we had a lovely new sitting room set up, hooray!



Joe couldn't handle just how amazing it was.



Catch me soon for the regular 'Bangers' and 'Mash'!